About Sheryl

I love it when I get profound messages that mean much more than their surface meaning. I got such a message a few days ago.

A co-worker said he tried to send me an email and when he typed in my name he got an error message that said, “That person no longer exists.”

I laughed and he said he had to go to the main office to inquire if I was still an employee.

As he walked away, I thought his error message was quite profound because in so many ways I feel like a new person who’s constantly looking for ways to show up differently in the world.

I want to appreciate my friends more and celebrate all the little thing I normally take for granted. Here’s an example.

Last week I flew to Vegas to spend four days with a couple of girlfriends. Normally I experience severe anxiety before boarding the plane and it gets worse just as the plane starts to take off. I sit in the isle seat because the thought of looking out the window makes matters worse. To cope I count the seconds I feel utter panic which keeps me from screaming like a lunatic until the plane levels off. I especially dreaded this trip because it wasn’t a direct flight, which meant two take-offs.

This time was things were different.

Before the flight I focused on how grateful I was to have this fabulous opportunity to spend time with two of my closest friends. I relished the idea of three days off work and the opportunity to enjoy warm weather in a place I’ve always wanted to visit.

Thinking these thoughts produced a calming spirit I’ve never felt before a flight. It gave me the courage to sit near the window and I didn’t feel a second of anxiety as the plane barreled down the runway. When it swiftly lifted off the ground I celebrated my new found courage and even looked out the window.

In that moment the old me didn’t exist. The new me stood (or sat in my case) courageous over years of torment and anxiety and it felt good.

A few days later I conquered another first – a successful Happe Life Club conference call.

You see, I’ve scheduled free conference calls in the past and it was normally a lonely experience because I was the only participant. I thought this might be the case this time but the new and improved Sheryl envisioned what it would be like to share an amazing hour with people who, like me, were willing to do whatever it took to make drastic changes in their lives this year.

That’s just who showed up on the call and we had a blast.

We shared our fears, our insecurities and our hopes for a better life. We comforted and coached and listened with an open heart and grateful spirit.

I can honestly say it was one of the best conference calls I’ve ever been a part of and I was once again grateful for the experience.

What I’ve learned this month is that when you share your passion it brings joy to people who really need it and that’s when the magic happens.

This has been one of the most rewarding months I’ve experienced in a long time because  I’ve made a conscious effort to live differently and I’m seeing amazing results. I’m much more focused on moving towards what I want and less interested in dwelling on what hasn’t shown up yet.

It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been well worth the effort.

What changes do you want to see in your life this year? What would you like to have accomplished by this time next year? It’s not too late to download the January worksheets and listen to the conference call. I promise it’ll be time well spent.

I love this time of the year because it’s a great time to reflect on what’s happened the last 12 months and see if you’ve ended the year with more happy experiences. I’d like for you to focus on all the good things, the amazing miracles and the life-changing moments that left you feeling grateful for every moment.

Then I’d love for you to answer the following questions (Below are my answers):

What were your proudest moments?

Finishing my first 5k in November.

What seemingly impossible odds did you overcome?

Running over 100 miles this summer.

Whose life did you touch in a positive way?

Several clients who were struggling with difficult decisions. I helped them tap into their Internal Navigation System and do what felt right for them no matter what others thought or said.

List a few memories you’ll cherish a lifetime.

1. Crossing the finish line in my first race. 
2. Watching the Super Bowl outside in 82 degree weather in Sunny Florida.
3. Sharing my 50th birthday with my family and friends.

What lessons did you learn and who did you share this new found knowledge with?

1. My feeling determine what I attract in my life.
2. I get to choose who I invite into my life.
3. Love is always right here whenever I choose to see and feel it.
4. There’s a reason I let go of past relationships.
5. I can only control Sheryl and when I mind my own business I’m much happier.

I shared this knowledge with all the wonderful people who read my weekly blog and are my R U Happe Life Coaching, LLC Facebook page.

What gifts and talents did you share with the world?

1. Every week I write a blog and newsletter that helps people live happy lives.
2. Presented two workshops to an amazing group of Snowball students at local high schools.
3. Spoke to a local group of teachers on how to become a Happe Teacher and gave several stress reduction techniques.
4. Talked to a group of mothers on the change cycle and how knowing what to expect helps you successfully navigate through any change life throws your way.
5. Created several new programs to help my clients live happier lives.

List the times you fell completely in love with a person, a place, and an activity.

I fell completely in love with three new babies born into my family this year. Each one of them holds the hope and promise of living life the way it should be lived – happy and carefree and I look forward to seeing them all grow up and help make this world a better place. Fell madly in love with Curacao, an island in the southern Carribbean Sea. I fell in love with running and ran more than I’d ever thought possible.

Who did you forgive and how did that whole experience feel?

I forgave myself for thinking my ex-husband should be and do something different. Releasing all expectations and thoughts about what I think he “should” do left me free to parent my kids in a loving, non-judgmental way. It also helped me see that my way of thinking make me incredibly unhappy and once I chose to think differently I felt at peace with a lot of things.

This is how a happe life should be lived.

If you didn’t experience any of these things I urge you to look a little deeper.

Surely there was a time you achieved a goal and wished your arms were long enough to pat yourself on the back. I’m sure there was an instance when you whispered a silent, “Good job.”

I think we often loose track of all the good we do in the world and belittle our accomplishments. You may think it has to be something really big for it to count.

It doesn’t.

So take a few minutes this week to write down all the things you’ve done that have made you happy.

Then I encourage you to celebrate these accomplishments and do more of them.

When reflecting on the past it’s a good idea to start with the positive and then figure out how you can do, be and have more of that happiness in your everyday life.

I know I’ve experienced everything on this list. (see above for answers)

Doing this kind of an end-of-the-year assessment helps you see all the things you’ve done right because we’re so used to focusing on the exact opposite.

I’d also love for you to share your answers on my website so that we can celebrate all the collective happe things we’ve done and the incredible difference we’ve all made in our lives and the world.

Until next week,

Sheryl

 

I went to a union meeting a few weeks ago and had a few thoughts about the negative conversations during the course of the meeting.

At one point the union president said he knew the teacher contract negotiations were going to be a knock down, drag out kind of a fight.

I wanted so desperately to tell everyone assembled that this didn’t have to happen.

I wanted to explain that it doesn’t have to be like that but I didn’t want to be labeled a crazy, happy seeking freak so I kept my little mouth shut and decided to share my thoughts in a different way.

I believe words have power and we get to choose thoughts that make us happy and bring us whatever our heart desires.

What if the final negotiating meeting went like this:

Union President: I’m so happy to let you know most of our demands were approved by the administration and the school board. They are giving us a generous raise for the next four years, cut the number of weekly professional meetings by half, will contribute to our retirement fund which equals a additional pre-tax savings, reduced our health insurance payments and created a happy teacher liaison to help us deal with all the stress we so willingly want to get rid of.

Teacher 1: Mr. President you’re kidding right?

Union President: You know I asked the Assistant Superintendent the exact same thing when he called me into his office this morning. He said they crunched the numbers last night and wanted to give us a contract we’d be happy to ratify. He also said the administration wanted to reward us for a job well done during the past four years and this was their way of thanking us and encouraging us to keep up the good work.

Teacher 2: What?

Union President: Exactly! We got everything we wanted and a few things that weren’t even on the table.

Teacher 3: How in the hell did this happen?

Union President: I have no idea.

Teacher 4: I know. Remember how we decided to approach the whole process differently before our first meeting? Remember how we listed what we really wanted and then one by one began to explain how we would feel when we received exactly what we wanted?

Remember how we all screamed with delight just imagining how exhilarated we would feel when it happened?

Union President: Yea, I remember. That was the most fun I’ve ever had before a union negotiation meeting. Every time things got a little tense I remembered how much fun we had and I felt very calm and in control.

Teacher 3: I just remember writing we got everything we want and a whole lot more over and over on my legal pad during the meeting. Just writing this made me look at things a lot differently.

Union President: Is that what you were writing? I thought you were taking the minutes of the meeting. I guess that explains why you seemed to have a permanent grin on your face.

Teacher 3: I didn’t know I was smiling. It just made me feel good.

I know you may think I’ve lost just a wee bit of my mind, but I haven’t.

Life can be just like that.

All you need to do is figure out what you want and then imagine how glorious it will feel having it or being it or seeing it like the teachers did before their big meeting.

Flowing some feel good energy to any situation makes a world of difference.

It ends war.

It heals the body and changes the molecular makeup of cells.

It reduces tension and calms the mind and body.

Research shows that when police officers enter a dangerous situation with a calm and relaxed demeanor criminals willingly surrender.

So how about you think about one thing in your life that you’d like to change and write how you would feel if everything worked out just the way you wanted it to.

Then you get to remember these feelings every time you start to fret or worry or feel troubled about that thing you just thought about.

Try it for a week and let me know how it works.

As for me I’m seriously thinking about sending this blog to the union president and the negotiating committee because it can really be just that easy.

Until next week,

Sheryl

During the past few months I’ve invited more positive energy and people into my life and during the process I stumbled on a thought that has changed my outlook on life and made me a happier person.

I realized the key to living in a constant state of happiness is managing my feelings.

It’s just that simple.

The first step is to catch the thoughts that cause anger, fear, loneliness and unworthiness – you know all the things you don’t want in your life.

One of the quickest ways to do this is to spend some time in complete peace and quiet in order to catch these thoughts.

Once you catch them you get to decide what to do with them. You can question them, believe them or continue allowing them to cause you pain.

I highly recommend the first option because it helps you see your thoughts for what they really are – ruminations in your head that you believe because they’re there. Most likely they’ve been there for a long time.

This all started with a decision to stop allowing my ex-husband’s words and actions to negetively affect my happiness. I decided to get out of his business and allow him to live his own life without my mental help.

In essence, I made a conscious commitment to focus on my business nad leave his alone.

This wasn’t easy, but the payoff has been tremendous.

When one of my kids share his insensitive comments or actions I share a loving gester and tell them that it’s okay and I’m here for them.

I remind them that he’s possibly going through a difficult time and I silently wish him love and peace and happiness.

The first time I shared my new philosophy with my son, he asked if I was feeling okay. I reassured him I was fine and explained that constantly focusing on what his father isn’t doing or how he refuses to be a source of constant love and support isn’t their business.

I told him how I decided to be a kind, supportive and loving mother and my life-long goal is to live in a constant state of love.

Living like this means I get to forgive people who have hurt me in the past. I get to wish them love and peace and joy. Then I get to move on.

I get to feel differently every time I think about them.

That’s the total opposite of what I used to feel – anger, resentment and fear.

Taking control of your life energetically means you don’t worry about what others are doing or saying.

It’s simply paying close attention to your life and what kind of experiences you’re welcoming into your world.

When I was angry with my ex I couldn’t feel how grateful I was for the wonderful adults I gave birth to so long ago. I couldn’t congratulate them on all the hard work they’re doing to accomplish their dreams. All I could see was that I had to do everything all alone and how unfair it was.

Shifting meant I get to be there for them in a way I never could be when I focused on what he didn’t say or do.

Now I get to be fully present for them and that’s freeing. I’m grateful for our time together creating new memories. I’m also grateful I get to model what real love looks and feels like.

Operating in this new state means I’m able to send loving energy to everyone in my life and that makes me happy.

Focusing on your life and your thoughts and your happiness can be difficult. And it’s so worth the effort.

Try it this week and let me know what happens.

Until next week,

Sheryl