We’re responsible for our own happiness

Last week I did something I didn’t want to do.

I went back to work.

For the past 5 years I’ve been trying to leave my teaching job. I thought this was the year. I’d received expert life coaching on this issue and was ready to do it. But I didn’t.

There are lots of reasons why.

The truth is that I was afraid to leave teaching. I love the steady income and health insurance. I love summers off and the 2-week break each winter. I love meeting over a hundred new students each year and helping them to love reading and writing as much as I do.

I didn’t want to go back because I love life coaching more than I love teaching high school students and that’s why I worked hard building my coaching practice this summer. I legally incorporated my business and had a professional web site created. I even began planning a weekend conference – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time.

It would have been real easy for me to focus on all the reasons I didn’t leave and beat myself up for it. I could have planned the biggest pity party ever and invited lots of people to help me celebrate my sadness.

But I didn’t want to.

Instead I chose to celebrate all the things I did this summer that made me incredibly happy.

I decided to love myself for making the best decision for me right now and I felt better. I didn’t feel embarrassed to face coworkers who thought I wouldn’t be returning. I decided to welcome their questions and explain as much or as little as I wanted.

You see I am in charge of my life and I get to determine how much or how little I share with the world. As long as I’m minding my own business (focusing on what’s best for Sheryl) I can’t help but feel okay. It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks about the decisions I make because I can’t control them or what they think.

I can only control what I think and how those thoughts make me feel. If they make me sad then I get to find a better feeling thought. It’s my life and I get to choose what I think and how those thoughts make me feel. It’s not always easy, but if we start making a conscious effort to do this one little thing several times a day our lives will be a whole lot happier.

Facing this made me a stronger person.

It helped me see that all things work out just as they should when we’re honest with ourselves.

I learned there are some aspects of teaching that I don’t like: grading hundreds of papers and lesson planning. Once I decided to figure out how to make these two areas less taxing I got a copy of a book that changes the way I’m going to teach my classes this year. It also gave me great ideas to make my lessons more student centered which means less grading for me.

When I asked for help it came.

Sometimes doing things we don’t want to do gives us an opportunity to face problems in a different way. It gives us a chance to problem solve and look at things differently.

What is it that you don’t want to do but think you have to?

How can you turn this don’t want into a positive experience?

Sometimes doing the thing we don’t want to do is an opportunity to flex our courage muscles and look for the silver lining that’s there waiting for us.

I’ve also decided to look for ways in which to help teacher and students live happier lives and what better way to research this market than within the confines of a real school.

The bottom line is that we’re all responsible for our lives and the happiness we allow to be a big or little part of it.

What are you doing to live a happier life? I’d love for you to share your thoughts and insights on this topic.